Life Lessons From A Dog

From Casey Research Daily Dispatch:

Lessons from a Fallen General

Recently I had to bid farewell to my longtime companion, General Beauregard Piddle. Not to worry, I have no intention of using this space to wax emotionally on his passing.

The simple fact is that General had an incredible life, stretching over 92 human years, or roughly 17 years for a dog, which he was. Given that I found him on death row at the local pound, and he subsequently accompanied us on lengthy explorations of Bermuda, Chile, and Argentina, and was well looked after throughout his many years with us – there can be no regrets about his death, anymore than his life.

So, rather than getting all morose about his passing, I thought I would share the tangible life lessons I learned from General, and they're not many (he was a dog, after all).

Lesson number one: Always wag your tail vigorously upon meeting a stranger. General had friends literally around the world, a consequence of his exuberant greeting ritual. This ritual included smiling widely, wagging not just his tail but his entire rear end, followed by rolling over on one side and waving a front leg at his new acquaintance. I can confirm with certainty that this display never once failed to evoke a warm smile, a friendly rubbing, and a lasting affection in response.

Likewise, when meeting another human being, either for the first time or any time thereafter, the more vigorous you are in your greeting, the better. You know what I'm talking about – a greeting like my friend Pierre-Andre executes so well, a big smile, heart-felt compliments, and a vigorous handshake or, if you are a woman, a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. Now that's how to make a good impression, not with a limp hand and a muttered “Nice to meet you!”

Lesson number two: Don't forget to duck. General was run over twice, and I'm not talking about a little run-over but a full-fledged proper running over – the sort that leaves visible tire tracks across a wiry hide. Yet, other than being stiff for a day or two, there was no noticeable damage. How did he manage it? Well, in the instance I witnessed, upon looking up and seeing the car bearing down on him, General just lay down and assumed a posture familiar to speed bumps. While I’m not conversant in the exact physics of why that position can promote survival, I do know that taking a bumper straight on would have been the end of him.

The lesson? There are times in this life where you can decide to take a firm stand against an onrushing force and pay the heavy consequences or just get low and survive. To provide a more tangible example, faced with a marching army of socialists in one country, one can decide to scrap it out while being bled dry or set up a nest in a more accommodating locale.

Lesson number three: Enjoy the privileges of advancing age. As General grew older, he also grew increasingly bold in his most annoying habit, that of regularly tipping over the household waste receptacles and helping himself to whatever caught his epicurean fancy. In his younger days, this behavior might have earned him a quick but not overly hard smack on the snout. However, as he aged, the extent of his downside was pretty much limited to being the target of a hard look and a muttered swearword. In the human analogy, all too often I find that as people get older, they tend to become increasingly timid, in many cases almost apologetic for their presence. I hope against hope that when I get to be of an advanced age and the dulcet tones of the choir invisible are heard faintly in the distance, I’ll be more, not less, brash. Because, like General, really, what do you have to lose?

There are probably more lessons I can derive from the life of General, but one doesn't want to overdo these things. He had a good run and will, of course, be remembered.