Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, “I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?”
Larry replied, “I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?”
***
“Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week.”
“That's very fair, Your Honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then, I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.”
***
An old woman goes to the wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.
The wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
The old woman says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
***
Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
***
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?”
The agent replies, “Just a minute.”
“Thank you,” the blonde says and hangs up.
***
Saturday, March 26, 2011
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
From Casey's Daily Dispatch:
Friday, March 25, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
It takes 43 muscles to frown, and only 17 to smile ...
"... Similarly, it is more beneficial to pursue positives than feed on negatives. Our heads may nod yes, but our hearts know better – it's not so easy. But, a life rightly lived is a life that doesn't bear the pain of a grudge seeking negative revenge.
It is a special moment when a person stops living in defense of himself, stops getting even. He quits calculating and maneuvering; he just starts living. He doesn't stop listening, he just listens better. He doesn't throw away his education, he just finds what works for him and does it. He doesn't stop caring for others, he just finds his love is itself reward enough, acknowledged or not. He doesn't stop reaching, he just grows what he knows, and passionately seeks for more. He doesn't cut himself off from others, but he is delivered from a need to always seek their approval. He doesn't pretend he has no fear, he just learns to walk with inward peace. " -- Richard A. Nelson
Friday, March 04, 2011
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)