Key Senate Achievement:
Being elected to Senate after Iraq War already started
Favorite Way To Mollify Supporters:
Nodding solemnly while gripping podium
Political Experience:
(2005–) Junior Senator from Illinois. Working directly under Senior Senator Richard Durbin himself, duties included fact-checking and copyediting the 2006 highway appropriations amendment bill. Member, Illinois State Senate (1997-2004)
Odds Of Pop-Locking During Inauguration:
1 in 12
Personal Best For Getting Digits:
32 seconds
Difficulty Catching A Cab:
Moderate
Issues:
Pro-hopes, also supports dreams
People Who Have Influenced Him Most:
Handsome devil who greets him in the mirror every morning
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