Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
BBC on McCain
'As the Republican pollster Frank Luntz put it in an interview recently (less charitably than me): "Stevie Wonder reads the teleprompter better than John McCain." - BBC News
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Green in America?
"The nature of the North American political reality is that everybody wants to drive a car and everybody wants their neighbor to conserve." -- Rick Rule
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Obama Bio from theOnion.com
Key Senate Achievement:
Being elected to Senate after Iraq War already started
Favorite Way To Mollify Supporters:
Nodding solemnly while gripping podium
Political Experience:
(2005–) Junior Senator from Illinois. Working directly under Senior Senator Richard Durbin himself, duties included fact-checking and copyediting the 2006 highway appropriations amendment bill. Member, Illinois State Senate (1997-2004)
Odds Of Pop-Locking During Inauguration:
1 in 12
Personal Best For Getting Digits:
32 seconds
Difficulty Catching A Cab:
Moderate
Issues:
Pro-hopes, also supports dreams
People Who Have Influenced Him Most:
Handsome devil who greets him in the mirror every morning
link
Being elected to Senate after Iraq War already started
Favorite Way To Mollify Supporters:
Nodding solemnly while gripping podium
Political Experience:
(2005–) Junior Senator from Illinois. Working directly under Senior Senator Richard Durbin himself, duties included fact-checking and copyediting the 2006 highway appropriations amendment bill. Member, Illinois State Senate (1997-2004)
Odds Of Pop-Locking During Inauguration:
1 in 12
Personal Best For Getting Digits:
32 seconds
Difficulty Catching A Cab:
Moderate
Issues:
Pro-hopes, also supports dreams
People Who Have Influenced Him Most:
Handsome devil who greets him in the mirror every morning
link
On the Typical Investor (Including Moi)
“The typical investor in public markets has no idea what he is doing.
Putting his money into a stock or a mutual fund brings him a temporary happiness. He sees himself as Kirk Kerkorian making a bid for General Motors or Warren Buffet shrewdly moving on an insurance company.
‘I bought Google,’ he tells his wife. His chest expands. He feels a crown of authority on his head and imagines his most private part growing.
For he has mastered the most sacred and all-powerful rite of our time; with a single gesture he has joined the Knights Templar, the Freemasons, and the local country club.
He is in. He is with it. He gets it. He is one with all the other swells who make up this wondrous modern economy. He has gone to Wall Street like Sir Galahad to Camelot.
He does not realize the misery awaiting him.
Only later, much later, does he discover that he is not a hero, but just a chump--- an insignificant speck of dust on Wall Street’s white shoes.”
-- Empire of Debt P. 309
Putting his money into a stock or a mutual fund brings him a temporary happiness. He sees himself as Kirk Kerkorian making a bid for General Motors or Warren Buffet shrewdly moving on an insurance company.
‘I bought Google,’ he tells his wife. His chest expands. He feels a crown of authority on his head and imagines his most private part growing.
For he has mastered the most sacred and all-powerful rite of our time; with a single gesture he has joined the Knights Templar, the Freemasons, and the local country club.
He is in. He is with it. He gets it. He is one with all the other swells who make up this wondrous modern economy. He has gone to Wall Street like Sir Galahad to Camelot.
He does not realize the misery awaiting him.
Only later, much later, does he discover that he is not a hero, but just a chump--- an insignificant speck of dust on Wall Street’s white shoes.”
-- Empire of Debt P. 309
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Onion: Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans
A video showing how black people in America have finally arrived. :-)
Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans
Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
California Sewage Plant to be named after Bush?
From Newsday 7/7/2008
'A California group submitted a proposal Monday to rename a sewage treatment plant after President Bush, calling the initiative a fitting tribute to the outgoing chief executive and the "mess" he'll leave behind.
The Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco wants to switch the name of the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.
Supporters hoping to put the issue on the November ballot turned in more than 10,000 signatures to San Francisco election officials, organizer Brian McConnell said. The measure needs just over 7,000 valid names to qualify and McConnell expects to find out later this month whether they made it.
Proponents of the renaming plan see it as fitting tribute to a president they contend has plumbed the depths of incompetence.
"We think that it's important to remember our leaders in the right historical context," said McConnell, a member of the group that was formed after friends came up with the renaming idea.
"In President Bush's case, we think that we will be cleaning up a substantial mess for the next 10 or 20 years," he said. "The sewage treatment facility's job is to clean up a mess, so we think it's a fitting tribute."
The "mess," as supporters of the plan see it, includes the aftermath of the Iraq war and what they see as a neglect of domestic economic issues.
"What we're really doing is symbolizing the fact that as he leaves office, we'll begin the process of basically repairing damage and rebuilding our country's reputation," he said.
The chairman of the San Francisco Republican Party has promised to fight the measure if it does make the ballot.'
Friday, July 04, 2008
Want to be a Billionaire?
"The average worker's salary in Zimbabwe is 15 billion Zimbabwe dollars per month. The poor fellows are billionaires, every one of them. But it takes 19 billion Zimbabwe dollars just to buy a pack of 10 cookies - if you find it. A pound of margarine is 25 billion."
From Daily Reckoning 7/3/2008
From Daily Reckoning 7/3/2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
The Old Man and the Dog
Once there was a man.
The man found himself in a new town and wanted to get to know the people.
So he went to the town square to see what he could see. He soon came upon an old man. The old man was whittling, turning a stick into a smaller stick.
On the ground near the old man’s feet sat a German shepherd. The dog bared his teeth and made a low noise from deep inside his solid frame as the new man approached.
The new man stopped and looked down at the dog with some trepidation. He asked the old man, “Does your dog bite?”
The old man kept whittling, and never looking up, replied, “Nope.”
The new man in town was relieved. He reached down to pet the animal.
The dog lunged at him and would have taken a chunk of flesh out of the arm of a slower man. As it was, the new man recoiled quickly enough that his coat sleeve was the only casualty.
Examining the shredded coat, the new man said with emphasis on each word, “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite.”
The old man stopped his whittling. He looked up for the first time, wearing a toothless, wizened grin.
The old man said with just as much emphasis on each word, “That’s what I said. My dog doesn’t bite,” and returned to his whittling.
Taken aback, the new man motioned to his torn coat and said, “Well…?”
The old man stopped whittling again, looked up, motioned to the dog with his knife, and said, “That ain’t my dog.”
The moral of the story: Ask the right questions.
From Stansberry Research
The man found himself in a new town and wanted to get to know the people.
So he went to the town square to see what he could see. He soon came upon an old man. The old man was whittling, turning a stick into a smaller stick.
On the ground near the old man’s feet sat a German shepherd. The dog bared his teeth and made a low noise from deep inside his solid frame as the new man approached.
The new man stopped and looked down at the dog with some trepidation. He asked the old man, “Does your dog bite?”
The old man kept whittling, and never looking up, replied, “Nope.”
The new man in town was relieved. He reached down to pet the animal.
The dog lunged at him and would have taken a chunk of flesh out of the arm of a slower man. As it was, the new man recoiled quickly enough that his coat sleeve was the only casualty.
Examining the shredded coat, the new man said with emphasis on each word, “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite.”
The old man stopped his whittling. He looked up for the first time, wearing a toothless, wizened grin.
The old man said with just as much emphasis on each word, “That’s what I said. My dog doesn’t bite,” and returned to his whittling.
Taken aback, the new man motioned to his torn coat and said, “Well…?”
The old man stopped whittling again, looked up, motioned to the dog with his knife, and said, “That ain’t my dog.”
The moral of the story: Ask the right questions.
From Stansberry Research
Friday, June 13, 2008
Hookers Accepting Stimulus Checks
From the 5 Minute Forecast 6/13/2008:
"... we notice that even the oldest profession is doing its part to keep the U.S. economy afloat. The Moonlite BunnyRanch, perhaps the country’s most “famous” legal brothel, has unveiled the “more bang for your buck,” program. Stroll into the Carson City hooker house with your economic stimulus check in hand and the proprietors promise you twice the, well… you get it. We hear they’ll reimburse you $15 for the baggage fee if you have your American Airlines ticket in hand too — no kidding."
"... we notice that even the oldest profession is doing its part to keep the U.S. economy afloat. The Moonlite BunnyRanch, perhaps the country’s most “famous” legal brothel, has unveiled the “more bang for your buck,” program. Stroll into the Carson City hooker house with your economic stimulus check in hand and the proprietors promise you twice the, well… you get it. We hear they’ll reimburse you $15 for the baggage fee if you have your American Airlines ticket in hand too — no kidding."
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Graduation advice by Mary Schmich
"Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved
by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more
reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this
advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You
will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at
photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much
possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You
are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying
is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you
at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's
only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with
your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22
what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most
interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them
when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children,
maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the
funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do,
don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it
or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument
you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living
room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel
ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone
for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your
past and the people most likely to stick with you in the
future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people
who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you
soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians
will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll
fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust
fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when
either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it
will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over
the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen."
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved
by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more
reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this
advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You
will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at
photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much
possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You
are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying
is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you
at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's
only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with
your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22
what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most
interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them
when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children,
maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the
funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do,
don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it
or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument
you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living
room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel
ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone
for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your
past and the people most likely to stick with you in the
future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people
who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you
soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians
will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll
fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust
fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when
either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it
will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over
the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen."
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Ethiopian joke from back in the socialist days
"... an Ethiopian teacher instructing his elementary school class in Marxism-Leninism enthusiastically tells them that their mother is Russia and their father Lenin. The teacher then asks what the children want to be. They answer, in chorus, 'orphans'."
-- Ethiopia the United States and the Soviet Union P. 102
-- Ethiopia the United States and the Soviet Union P. 102
Friday, May 16, 2008
Fishy Economic Numbers
From the Daily Reckoning - 05/16/2008:
"Last month, the price of gasoline went down 2%, says the Labor Department.
Wait a minute. Do you remember gasoline prices going down in April? We don't. As we recall, oil prices were soaring…and so was the price of gasoline.
We're beginning to sniff something funny in the air…a rat.
...
Generally, we don't trust numbers. Who can trust a 5 after all - with a bottom like a communist sickle and its top nicked from a swastika? Who can trust an eight - wandering back and forth and never getting anywhere? And what about the zero? What does it mean? You put it in front of a number and it means nothing. You put it behind…and all of a sudden you've got 10 times as many. So, let's look a little more at those numbers - that is, at the crooked 4s, the slick 6s, and the empty 0s - put out by the feds.
Getting back to the price of gasoline, we check the records from NY gasoline futures trading and find the price actually rose 12% in April. How come the feds put it down as minus 2%? Turns out, they made a 'seasonal adjustment.' But turning plus 12 into minus two sounds like more than an adjustment; it sounds like either magic or major surgery…like turning a prince into a frog or a fat man into a slim woman.
Elsewhere, we find the feds working their magic on all the primary numbers. The IMF, for examples, says food prices rose 43% last year. Yet, after the feds waved their wands, U.S. food costs were up only 5.1%. And import costs rose 15% year to year - according to the numbers when they first got off the boat. But by the time the Labor Department statisticians had finished 'adjusting' them, they were down to only 0.2%.
Only investors, of course, are gullible enough to believe the government numbers. Consumers believe the numbers they see at the checkout counters and the pumps. What they see is sharply rising prices."
"Last month, the price of gasoline went down 2%, says the Labor Department.
Wait a minute. Do you remember gasoline prices going down in April? We don't. As we recall, oil prices were soaring…and so was the price of gasoline.
We're beginning to sniff something funny in the air…a rat.
...
Generally, we don't trust numbers. Who can trust a 5 after all - with a bottom like a communist sickle and its top nicked from a swastika? Who can trust an eight - wandering back and forth and never getting anywhere? And what about the zero? What does it mean? You put it in front of a number and it means nothing. You put it behind…and all of a sudden you've got 10 times as many. So, let's look a little more at those numbers - that is, at the crooked 4s, the slick 6s, and the empty 0s - put out by the feds.
Getting back to the price of gasoline, we check the records from NY gasoline futures trading and find the price actually rose 12% in April. How come the feds put it down as minus 2%? Turns out, they made a 'seasonal adjustment.' But turning plus 12 into minus two sounds like more than an adjustment; it sounds like either magic or major surgery…like turning a prince into a frog or a fat man into a slim woman.
Elsewhere, we find the feds working their magic on all the primary numbers. The IMF, for examples, says food prices rose 43% last year. Yet, after the feds waved their wands, U.S. food costs were up only 5.1%. And import costs rose 15% year to year - according to the numbers when they first got off the boat. But by the time the Labor Department statisticians had finished 'adjusting' them, they were down to only 0.2%.
Only investors, of course, are gullible enough to believe the government numbers. Consumers believe the numbers they see at the checkout counters and the pumps. What they see is sharply rising prices."
Thursday, May 15, 2008
No Wonder Bear Stearns Failed
A memo sent to Bear Stearns employees last December:
Date: December 13, 2007
To: All 24th Floor Male Employees
From: Jeanne Orgon, R.N.
Subject: Infection Control & Hygiene
In order to prevent the spread of infection and disease, here are a few reminders you should follow to protect yourself and others:
• Flush the toilet and urinal after use.
• Do not use the urinal for disposal of solid matter.
• Clean up after yourself.
• Wash your hands with soap and warm water.
It's the nature of our business to want to rush through things to get back to our desks. However, it is the responsibility of everyone to use the fundamental rules of good hygiene and do their part to ensure that the restroom is kept clean and disease-free.
scanned Image of Letter
Date: December 13, 2007
To: All 24th Floor Male Employees
From: Jeanne Orgon, R.N.
Subject: Infection Control & Hygiene
In order to prevent the spread of infection and disease, here are a few reminders you should follow to protect yourself and others:
• Flush the toilet and urinal after use.
• Do not use the urinal for disposal of solid matter.
• Clean up after yourself.
• Wash your hands with soap and warm water.
It's the nature of our business to want to rush through things to get back to our desks. However, it is the responsibility of everyone to use the fundamental rules of good hygiene and do their part to ensure that the restroom is kept clean and disease-free.
scanned Image of Letter
Monday, May 05, 2008
Dave Barry's Take on Government Rebate Checks…
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
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